BBabe

Spidey says... check Mommy out on LC101!

2009-10-07T07:36:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, some of you were wondering about the dearth of posts. Wanted to redirect you to another blog of mine, Life Coach 101 . I've been trying to figure out how to meld the professional things I want to write about with personal, and it was too hard to keep up 2 blogs. Instead of trying to post 2 places, I will focus the blogging on LC101 and use my facebook for most of the personal things. Fret not, I will still talk a lot about the kiddos on the new blog, as they are a big part of achieving balance overall!!

Please update me on your Google Reader or other reader, and make a note of it! Wish me luck! :)

Don't buy a home because you think you SHOULD!

2009-10-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

I recently got a question from someone thinking about buying a home. Even after the housing bubble burst, there is still a mindset among my young adult cohorts that you are SUPPOSED to get a house. Because that's what grownups do. Along with 2.5 kids and an annoying parakeet.

When I got into the housing market at a very young age, it was super easy to get a loan. We were actually approved on my husband's (meager at the time) income and credit. I was not included because his credit at the time could get us a better rate. There is NO WAY we should have been given $100k + to get a home if we were truly just on my husband's income. The bank allowed this because they did not hold their loans on their own books, but rather bundled them in a burrito to sell to investors with other good (and bad) loans. No risk to Wells Fargo, therefore they didn't care if we defaulted on the loan (we didn't, of course).

Our cutie first home pictured above-it was perfect for our first place!

This is not so anymore. Increasingly tides are turning to traditional loans with traditional down payments. However, homebuyers need to look at how much they can afford, then back into the loan amount in that way. I like http://www.bankrate.com/ for simple amortization calculators. If that loan amount won't buy you what you want, then you see how much you need to save for a down payment.

Bottom line: renters are in a great situation to get onto the property ladder at the low. However, this does not justify reckless behavior in buying more than you can afford. Nor is it a reason to buy when your lifestyle really suits renting.

Here's the question and response:

My husband has been saving money the old school way, do you think we should deposit in a savings or banking account before we send the app for the loan. Where I can list as an asset on application. Just let me know.

It’s just in cash?

Yes, absolutely he should deposit to show as an asset on the loan. The loan officer will have to have proof of the asset, and you can’t do it you are just holding cash. Go ahead and submit app, but deposit it so you can show when the loan officer asks for proof. Also it needs to be in a bank for safekeeping and to earn some interest. After you deposit, I would suggest opening an ING Direct online savings account for a good rate. I have ours set up in subaccounts for different savings goals. It’s easy and the rate can’t be beat right now.

Are you just submitting so you can see how much you are approved for? Make sure it’s a 30 year fixed. I would not look at an ARM right now.

Remember that your payments need to be less than 30% of your take home pay.

Calculate the quoted payments * 1.20 = actual cost of maintenance. Remember to include homeowners association, property taxes, and insurance. That’s the REAL payment.

If you can’t find anything you like that’s in that payment price range, I would wait. The flexibility of an apartment in this economy is a real blessing. If anything happened to his job or yours, I would hate to see you trapped in a payment that’s a stretch for you.

Pretend that you have the payment and put that in savings to increase what you have for a down payment. Property prices are only going to continue the same or fall in the near term in my opinion; I wouldn’t worry about missing an opportunity because the low prices are going to be around for awhile. You don’t want to get stuck in a place that’s not suitable for what you want in the next 5 – 7yrs.

That being said, if you find something truly affordable that you would like for 5-7 years, I would do it.

Assets would be:

Savings

Checking

Non-retirement investments

Equity held in cars

Liabilities:

Credit card loans

Car loans

Any other outstanding debt

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Letter to The Nester, or, Adventures in Decor

2009-09-19T13:29:00.001-07:00

I LOVE reading the Nester's home decor blog - "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful" is just my speed.

Here's a letter to Nester, maybe one of these days I'll work up the nerve to email her!

Actually I think the prep process of making sure I emailed without sounding like an idiot has almost superseded the need to email her. It's about the LIVING ROOM project. I really want to finish before my in-law's arrive for Christmas. I took down the nasty 2" wooden blinds (broken) and will do some white sheer drapes after painting.

Hi Nester,

I wanted to reach out for your advice on paint. I have been paint intimidated until I decided (uncharacteristically) to do an under-the-stairs Harry Potter office as a surprise for my hubby (who is writing a youth fiction novel). Here's a link to the video where I revealed it to him.:
That's just a little teaser so that you will notice me out of your hundreds of fan emails! I look like poop from working on the closet but couldn't wait to film until after I cleaned up. I used Behr Scotland Road and literally about hyperventilated as I hovered over the wall with a roller. This is just a closet, mind you, but I had never painted before!! I always thought it would be such a commitment. The shelves are Container Store Elfa. Everything else I took from around the house. When I got the lightning stike for my gift project, I started looking for home decor blogs and found you. Now I'm hooked. Am looking to venture into mistreatments...it is a real leap for me but I am getting more confident as I scour your archives! Now I have the bug and want to paint everything after I saw how easy and inexpensive it was! Enter living room dilemma....

I have a white fireplace, green couches, with dark brown wood trim furniture and also black frames in my living room...lots of light and not much wall. I do have a lot of pairs in the room as I bought the set from Rooms to Go. Also there is gold in the rug and accent pillows. What a palette when I started to think about paint! I thought orange but hubby vetoed it (that's part of the slow intro to home decor adventures...I am fortunate enough to have a husband who has an opinion on all the home decor things. I guess he does live here so he's entitled). He's a painter (canvas, not walls) so he does have an eye. But not the gumption for home decor. Yet.

Eureka! What about GRAY say I in a burst of novice enthusiasm. Here's a Behr room from their website that I found tonight (AFTER I already thought of gray might I add). Couldn't believe I found an example of gray walls, white trim, and green couch!

And all of this leads up to ... Creek Bend is the leader but I look at 5 paint cards to either side of it and love all of the top ones. (Flint smoke or squirrel or anonymous or milestone?)
But how do you pick the gray? more blue or brown? brighter or lighter? Should I get samples of each to try on my walls and see? Just picked up samples of Squirrel (more yellow/ brown grey) and Creek Bend (more blue). Is there a wrong answer? I wanted to then do gauzy white mistreatments and perhaps an orange or coral red trim? I LOVE dark colors but hubby is skeptical.

How do YOU decide within a color family?

Thank you, Nester!!

Feathers are Fabulous!

2009-05-18T06:01:00.000-07:00

This Saturday at ballet the parents were brought into the studio for lessons on how to dress the girls in their recital cosutmes - feathery yellow leotards, skirts replete with tulle, and feather hairbobs. We also learned how to do their stage makeup - which was a little disconcerting for three and four year olds! The teacher reassured us it's just so that the stage lights won't make them look like they have no face. I took solace in the fact that it truly looked like stage makeup, and they didn't look like creepy pageant kids.

Eileigh was totally preening in the mirror with her makeup and fluffy otufit. Ms. Irene made them raise their hands and swear not to play in their costumes until AFTER the recital...the outfits are irreplaceable! Yikes! This made me a little nervous to have the outfit stuffed in my purse while I dragged Eil and Callum around the square after class. Luckily it was encased in a plastic bag so the chocolate cupcake Cal smeared on it didn't stain the skirt! Callum was so good in the studio, he was so still on my lap and watched the girls dance. Whew- I think he'll be fine during the recital so I've decided to bring him. We'll see how it goes during the dress rehearsal with Paul only attending (I'll be at a conference). Paul will have to do the hair, makeup, and outfit all by himself! I think I'll enlist the help of one of Eileigh's teachers that day...

Love my little duck!

Cutie Kids

2009-04-28T04:39:00.000-07:00

I hope I'm capturing in the list function just how much funnier the kiddos get each day. As we are now carpooling to work, they seem so much happier in the mornings and afternoons with both Paul and I in the car. They just laugh all the time and I no longer have to endure "Ah-ont Daee (I want Daddy)" for the entire duration of the car trip!

Lately we've been listening to the "Once" soundtrack and both kids love to sing along in the car. Cal's is just an "ooooo" but Eileigh is actually able to pick out the difficult harmony parts! She really has a knack for all things creative: singing, dancing, drawing. Often that also means a knack for all things dramatic as well, which can be challenging! I love my little rock stars!

4/15 Party!

2009-04-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went out as a firm in celebration of the end of tax season. The accountants have been working 12 hour days, 6 or 7 days a week for the last month or so, so they were ready. Luckily I was included even though I'm not part of AHA, and haven't (thankfully) been working those hours! We had lunch at PF Changs Perimeter, where service was less than stellar, but the company was good and so was the food. I just have an issue with server's auctioning off food instead of knowing which person it belongs to. I have been a server before - just number the seats!

At any rate, we then went to Fado for drinks, and after a shady parking job at the library next door, I arrived for a few Hoegaarden's with the crew. The Irish bartender mixed up some mystery shot which I graciously declined, but the CPA's consumed with ferocity. I can actually hear one of them barfing in the bathroom just now! Why come to work the next day? I'm glad I kept it PG. So proud of myself this morning.

I left at 6:45 or so and arrived home in time to put Eileigh to bed. I thankfully have a great hubby who picked up the kids so I could stay out for a little longer and not have to rush back to pick them up at 6:00. Or, I guess I can thank Manchester United who won the match v. Portsmouth outright and didn't have to go into extra time so Paul could pick them up. Cheers, Man U!

Deadliest Catch - a sheepish love

2009-04-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

Can't wait for DC tonight!

I truly cannot believe what a nerd I am becoming for this show. It is the epitome of intensity - I get invested every time...even on the reruns. I'm hooked - heh heh. Capt. Phil and his boys on the Cornelia Marie (pictured here on an uncharacteristically fine day in harbor) are my favorite. Phil had a health scare with a blood clot last season - I almost cried on the rerun this weekend! He is just a salty dog... can't help but love him! Smokin, tattooed, tough-love kinda guy. I have to admit I've been looking at the fansites on Facebook and there are some serious fans out there - I'm not quite to their level... but the scary thing is I can see myself getting there.

You know you're a crazy DC fan when...

- you actually consider going to Catch Con - the DC convention in Seattle.

- you scorn the greenhorns that can't hack it.

- you tear up every other episode.

- you get goosebumps EVERY episode.

- your computer wallpaper is a beauty shot of Cornelia Marie.

- you and your hubby each have a favorite ship.

- you understand what F/V stands for (fishing vessel).

- you start to imagine strategic places you would put your survival suit for easy access if it were YOU working on deck.

- you refer to good things at work as "keepers".

- you know what kind of bait Opi's like (cod, of course!).

Callum's words

2009-01-06T17:26:00.001-08:00

Callum's words at present:

Mommy (I love this one - Eileigh always called me Mimi, so Mommy is different and special!)

Daddy

A-dee (Eileigh)

More (accompanied by ASL sign)

Milk

fish

ball

goal (Daddy loves this one)

Oh, No!

Uh-Oh

sandwich (I swear he said this the other day)

Blue

shoe

Night-night
Hi
bye
Thank you
please
cheese (for the camera - I taught him this one!)
cheers (Thanks, Dad...)
apple
I love you (almost)
"Izzat?" = What's that?

Surely there's more that I can't remember - or maybe it's his amazing laugh and sweet kisses that are fooling me!

Adventures in Labor- Vol 2 - The Epidural

2009-01-06T11:22:00.000-08:00

For the others reading this, these posts were inspired by my friend's upcoming birth...she asked me for what really happens in labor and childbirth. What better time to get all of this written down before I forget?

OK, the epidural. Like I said, by that point I was ready for it, so it was a relief for the anesthesiologist to come through the door. The Dr. will come in, get the instruments set up, then ask you to sit up and face the side of the bed with your legs hanging off. You have to hunch your back as round as you can, which will be hard because of the large belly! Also, the contractions continue, so you might get caught in one while s/he’s trying to do the epidural, but my Dr.’s tried to time them pretty well. With my first epidural, Paul stood in front of me while it happened and tried to help me be still. With my 2nd, the nurse stood in front of me. I had 2 different experiences with the anesthesia, and the kicker was that with my first one, the Doc numbed the injection site with a Lidocaine shot before proceeding. Another thing I HIGHLY recommend! With Callum, I didn’t get a lidocaine shot and it was definitely more painful. I remember a few tears escaped and fell on the front of the nurse’s scrubs. I was trying to be brave but it hurt!

As you might know, the epidural puts a catheter into the epidural space in your spinal cord, then it is hooked up to a bag of the anesthetic, which drips in and makes you totally numb after a few minutes. They can increase or decrease the drip as needed. It was great by that point for me… with Eileigh, I finally was comfortable and actually fell asleep for awhile! The nurses came in to check me for dilation while I was sleeping. I went to sleep at 4 cm and woke up at 8.5 cm – that’s the way to be in labor! Poor Paul couldn’t sleep though, he was too excited. The epidural is very strange; I absolutely could not feel my legs or pelvis…it felt like I was touching someone else’s legs. A concern is that some women cannot feel enough to push, but I could feel some pressure and didn’t really have a problem. With Callum, I definitely felt the pressure of the contractions, but no pain. His labor was much faster (about 2 hours) because he was my second one. By the time I could feel the pressure, I was dilated 10 cm and it was time to push! The nurse had to go get Paul so he wouldn’t miss it… she told him he had “plenty of time” to go grab a sandwich from the caf. Luckily he was almost back when she grabbed him. Another tidbit: make sure your man keeps his cell on him at all times if he leaves the room (I never thought that Paul would but it was a casual time, or so it seemed)!

Remembering the monitor printouts of my contractions, I’m so glad I just said yes to the drugs. The little EKG-like line got higher and higher, and I remember being in pain when my contractions were at a 30 or 40; by the end they were in the 100’s. I can’t imagine how painful it would be without!

In Vol 3…time to push!

New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-06T10:43:00.001-08:00

NYR 2009:

I love New Year's resolutions and make them every year. Sometimes I even keep them...case in point: 2007's "Type without looking at the keys" was a resounding success!

The key for me it so keep them small, but something I will do daily and also pervasive enough to actually have an effect on my life.

Here goes:

Sit up straight (carryover from NYR 2008)
Eat FRESH fruits and veggies every day
Use blog to keep journal of things I might forget about the kids
--use those as ideas for digital scrapbooking pages in that vein, get proficient @ PSE 7 software
Go to the Gym (duh- isn't this everyone's?)
Continue to network to increase my client base this year...I'd like to add at least 5 new clients this year.
Finish my CFP!
Save up for Prague in July!!
Work on my novel - get halfway through in 2009

I'm sure I'll think of more...I should probably term them "Goals" instead of NYR...I'll reevaluate quarterly. Ah, the fresh start only a New Year brings!

Adventures In Labor, Vol 1...for Krissy

2009-01-02T05:20:00.000-08:00

On the birth, I’m happy to share…hope it’s not an overshare, but you asked! Haha. You’re right, not too many people talk about what really goes on, and even though I had a really good friend who had 4 kids before I had Eileigh, I still had some surprises. The first thing I’ll say is that my births were (thankfully) pretty easy. I did get an epidural which I HIGHLY suggest, and if you’re going that way chances are you will be fine. I can’t speak to the natural method, though! Are you going for the drugs? Some of this stuff I’m sure you already know if you’ve read the book, but I’ll just give you the whole hog!

OK, so I guess I’ll start chronologically…pretty soon you’ll start getting Braxton Hicks contractions, and I remember being so anxious, like I wouldn’t know that it was time to go until it was too late for drugs, etc. The real show won’t start until you’ve lost your mucous plug (gross, I know) which covers the end of your cervix during pregnancy to keep all the bad germies out. It will be like a (sorry) loogie and you’ll just notice it when you go the bathroom one day about a week before you give birth. Then when my contractions started, they weren’t painful at first, just felt like my belly was really hard. Eventually they started to feel a little bit like menstrual cramps in my back, but not bad. I was obsessed with timing them, and would get all disappointed when they missed 5 mins apart after 4 consistent ones, etc. When they’ve been 5 mins apart for an hour, you should call your doc and they’ll tell you to come in. Or, if they get really painful. With Eileigh, I couldn’t sleep because I wanted to time them, but eventually I got so tired that I figured if it got really bad, it would wake me up. I was also really nervous that I wasn’t really in labor, and that I would show up at the hospital and they would send me home.

I was convinced that my water would break at home, and it would be just like TV where I said, “Uh-oh, time to go!”, but it wasn’t. It was more of a judgment call and that stressed me out a bit. Rest assured that before long, it will become obvious if it’s real labor! That’s why I’d suggest to stay home as long as possible, try to;
• sleep (yeah, right! You will be too excited!)
• shower (NOT a bath because of bacteria)
• eat (they won’t give you anything from the moment you get there, only ice chips)
• go to the bathroom (#2 …this is to prevent embarrassment later on)

Also, tell Darm’s Stache to bring some snacks in case it takes awhile. You can’t eat but he will be starving. Paul was hurting because the cafeteria wasn’t open at all hours, and with Eileigh all they had was a McDonalds (which was greasy and gross). And comfy shoes for him because he will probably be standing awhile. Paul kept complaining (afterwards) about how he was SO tired from standing up the whole time and I just wanted to smack him. Also a laptop with some movies is nice b/c you both can watch them before and after she arrives, and the hospital TV’s can be annoying when there is nothing on. Ideally, I would suggest a funny movie since it’ll be hard for you to concentrate, or even better, a DVD of a funny show a la Friends.

You think when you get there it will be go, go, go…but for me it was a lot of hurry up and wait. I got there, they decided I was in labor (very early, though), and they checked me in, etc. They started me on pitocin in an IV to speed up the contractions which they monitored on a little belt around my belly. Once I got the pitocin, things started to pick up, and my water broke. Apparently it can be a trickle or a gush, mine was a trickle and it felt like I was peeing, but with no effort to squeeze it out. Also, the nurses come in every so often to check your vitals and check you for dilation. You will be hooked up to a really annoying blood pressure cuff that is automated and takes your BP every 5 or 10 minutes. The nurses come to dig around like at your OB visits to see how dilated you are. The epidural usually comes shen you are 4” or even 3.5”. Ask your doctor before you go, because s/he will have a preference of when he pulls the trigger on the epidural, of course it could change at the time. This was the time that was most uncomfortable because it was before I had the epidural, and the contractions gradually get stronger and stronger. It was painful for me for about 30 min – 1 hour between when I really started to feel it and when the anesthesiologist got there.

When I started getting uncomfortable, the nurses gave me some pain medication (Demerol) in my IV which took the edge off. This was before the contractions got too bad, and then the pain meds wore off. They gave me a booster, but it didn’t really work. That’s when the 30 min- 1 hour began, and eventually I was dilated enough to call for the epidural. I tell you, I was really ready for him to get there!

The contractions felt like very bad menstrual cramps that started with my belly getting really hard and then it radiated around to my lower back. It wasn’t a sharp pain, but a dull one that got worse and worse until it finally eased off. Your hubby will probably get a kick out of reading the monitor printoff of your contractions…”Here comes another one!”. Also on the monitor is the baby’s heartbeat. With Eileigh her heartbeat started to slow a little during the contractions (they can stress the baby out), but the nurses just got me to lay on my left side to help circulation and then she was fine. If they can’t get a good read on the baby’s heart, they might do an internal monitor which is a little intimidating. It’s a thin, metal probe that looks like it has a little corkscrew on the end. It actually touches the baby’s head and goes into their scalp to monitor the heart. It sounds medieval, but the corkscrew part is really shallow and tiny, and I don’t think it hurts them. To be honest, she was probably more concerned with being squeezed every 3 minutes.

When I try to compare the pain to something that you can relate to, the only thing I can think of is when stubbing your toe. You know how it kind of takes your breath away? And it gets really intense and then subsides? It is similar to that. It sucks, but you’ve stubbed your toe plenty of times and got through it, right? Incidentally, to this day when I stub my toe I do Lamaze-like breathing to cope! I didn’t really do the breathing when I was having the contractions, though…go figure. I probably should have.

Hate to leave you hanging, but I’d better go work for a bit. Stay tuned for Vol 2 of Adventures in Labor…the Epidural!